Goals for '08

Not counting modesty, we're nearly perfect. But we can still come up with a few New Year's resolutions to strive for in 2008:

1. Gain 10 pounds. The leftover turkey in the fridge would be a good place to start.

2. Learn how to open the refrigerator.

2a. Without getting caught.

3. There was a dog on TV that could pick out any single one of maybe a hundred different toys on request, just given that object's name. Can you believe that? I mean one dog with a hundred toys? We resolve to upgrade our toy collection to world class. "Dad" says we'll have to donate some of our old toys to a shelter to make room in the toy box. But we're thinking eBay.

4. Maintain homeland security, holding off all threats to our territory. Especially that UPS guy.

5. Convince "mom" to trade in her SUV for a minivan: easier access, more headroom. Royal blue would complement our coats nicely.

6. Break the world record for hours of sleep in one day. Getting up several times the night before should help, especially if we ask to go out, so "Dad" will be too tired to go on any walks.

7. Massively increase the traffic to our blog. Cosmo can sometimes nudge the mouse button and add one hit, but that's not going to get us there. We're used to doing things by mouth, but this "word of mouth" thing is a different story, and many of our doggie pals are still not online... So who do we have to share treats with to get into "Blogs of Note"?

8. Learn to count to ten. It's not so easy when you only have four toes per limb.