Cyberspace's Greatest Dogs

We heard CBS has a casting call out for a new show "America's Greatest Dog":

http://cbs2.com/misc/Americas.Greatest.Dog.2.669591.html

Sounded interesting until they started getting into obedience issues. If we just had to look and act cool, we'd be shoo-ins for the prize. But we're more the "free-thinker" types. So we'll just stick to our new-media fame and pass on the old-media.

Love and Chocolate

We'd like to say "Happy Anniversary" to "mom" and "dad". Clever of them to get married so close to Valentine's day when the stores are full of chocolate gifts. So this time of year our house is stocked with chocolate. Which would be great if we were allowed to have any - but we're not.

At least it's Saturday, which means (besides a fun morning helping with the yard work), our true favorite treat: Ice Cream! We could go on about the wondrous joy in a bowl of ice cream, but truth be told we're starting to drool already, and don't want to short out the wireless router.

Scooper Tuesday

Everyone wants to know which presidential candidate we're going to endorse. We'd vote for "dad" if we could, but apparently the voter registration process doesn't account for dog years, so we're not eligible. Plus "dad" isn't actually running for office (although we've never seen any of the candidates actually running (but we have seen "dad" running, and he looks kind of funny [nothing close to as funny as Astro and his floppy ears -- "dad"], maybe that's why the candidates don't actually run (but maybe they'd feel better if they did. We only see them happy and smiling when they announce they're dropping out of the race (the one where they're not really "racing"...

Um, sorry, where were we? Oh. Since Astro's a conservative Democrat and Cosmo's a liberal republican, we figure we cancel each other out, so we aren't going to endorse anyone in particular. "Dad's" frantically pointing at a picture of his favorite candidate right now, but hey, this is our blog.

Surf's Pup

So it's totally a cliché, but we really do love long walks on the beach...

Goals for '08

Not counting modesty, we're nearly perfect. But we can still come up with a few New Year's resolutions to strive for in 2008:

1. Gain 10 pounds. The leftover turkey in the fridge would be a good place to start.

2. Learn how to open the refrigerator.

2a. Without getting caught.

3. There was a dog on TV that could pick out any single one of maybe a hundred different toys on request, just given that object's name. Can you believe that? I mean one dog with a hundred toys? We resolve to upgrade our toy collection to world class. "Dad" says we'll have to donate some of our old toys to a shelter to make room in the toy box. But we're thinking eBay.

4. Maintain homeland security, holding off all threats to our territory. Especially that UPS guy.

5. Convince "mom" to trade in her SUV for a minivan: easier access, more headroom. Royal blue would complement our coats nicely.

6. Break the world record for hours of sleep in one day. Getting up several times the night before should help, especially if we ask to go out, so "Dad" will be too tired to go on any walks.

7. Massively increase the traffic to our blog. Cosmo can sometimes nudge the mouse button and add one hit, but that's not going to get us there. We're used to doing things by mouth, but this "word of mouth" thing is a different story, and many of our doggie pals are still not online... So who do we have to share treats with to get into "Blogs of Note"?

8. Learn to count to ten. It's not so easy when you only have four toes per limb.

Stairway to Heaven

We both have the motivation to jump right into the back of "mom's" SUV (whose rear seats are almost always folded down) on a moment's notice. Astro has the agility to make the jump even though there's not much headroom. But Cosmo, who had some joint and back troubles as a puppy with his first owner, isn't quite as athletic. And even "dad" doesn't have the strength to lift us in - as if we'd put up with such humiliation in the first place.

"Dad" got one of those folding ramp things, but we're not into high-wire acts and refuse to trust it. Then he noticed that we have no trouble with stairs in the house, so he made us this nifty set of portable steps instead. They're light enough that "mom" can easily toss them in the car for trips, and were simple and inexpensive to build as well.

The steps were made from foam insulation board from the home improvement store. "Dad" cut the 1.5" thick sheet into five 1x2-foot sections for the top step, and five 2x2-foot sections for the bottom section. A layer of thick corrugated cardboard on the two 1x2-foot step surfaces adds protection from toenail punctures, and a strip of carpet remnant wraps around the whole thing for a sturdy non-slip surface. The layers were glued together with "gorilla" glue; hot glue should work also. The carpet was creased to fit, glued on, and some duct tape (a "dad" signature) added to keep the seams secure.

So now we know it's a doggy road trip when the steps come out, and the car goes from zero to two dogs in less than a second.

Fire and Rain

Because last year was so dry, we can hardly complain when we get the occasional rainy day like today. It's no fun doing our business in the cold and wet, but "dad" makes up for it by giving us a special towel rubdown when we get back inside. Sometimes he even makes silly sound effects that we're suckers for. And if it's cold enough, "mom" will start a toasty blaze going in the fireplace and wrap us up in blankets. So even sun-lovers like us have learned to enjoy a storm now and then.