Toy Story

We have a prized collection of soft squeaky toys acquired over the years, dating back as far as the time we grew out of ripping each new one to shreds. Astro doesn't play with them these days, unless he's in an unusually puppyish mood, or to get "first dibs" on a brand new toy. "Dad" sometimes pulls a long-forgotten toy out of the bottom of the box, but we're not fooled for long.

Cosmo thinks of the toys as a sort of all-purpose canine currency - presenting one in exchange for getting pets, or just showing them off as a bit of not-so-subtle bling. Sometime's he'll sit for hours with one in his mouth just for the warm fuzzy feeling. The squeakers are also useful for waking up "mom" - but never before "dad" has her first cup of tea ready. With Christmas coming, we're both wondering what cool new toy Santa will bring us this year - and how we're going to fit them into our overflowing toy box.

Walk the Walk, Hear the Talk

Dogs of our stature get accustomed to interesting reactions from people when we're out for walks. Some just cross to the other side of the street, perhaps out of respect. Some come up with dumb comments like "Who's walking who there?" or "Wow, they're as big as horses!" or even "You could put a saddle on them!". Yeah, never heard those before.

Not that originality is essential - we're just fine with "Beautiful dogs!" Even if a more masculine adjective would be preferable, that comment makes our tails wag each time we hear it. But our favorite has to be the time a gentleman told his young son, "Look, Great Danes!". The kid replied "Why? What did they do?"

French Bones

We usually get a little "people food" mixed in with our evening kibble, but the "parents" may be eating something that's not canine-kosher. So sometimes "Dad" will whip out his "French Bones" recipe. It goes like this:

Ingredients (per dog)

• one dog biscuit (we like Milkbones)
• two eggs

Directions

Preheat a non-stick pan or griddle on medium, then turn the heat down to low. Drop in a little butter, then add the eggs. Snap the bones in half, and use them to break the yokes.

Fold the eggs over the bones, and flip the mixture over frequently to coat the bones and gently scramble the eggs. Cook until the mixture is no longer runny. Remove from heat, allow to cool, and chop the eggs into pieces. Mix into kibble and serve.

Adjust the ingredients (number of eggs and bones) to suit - these are Great Dane portions using the generous-sized bones.

Helping in the Garden

Sunbathing on the patio is already a guilty pleasure without watching "mom" working in the yard digging holes, dropping in plants, and pouring water on top. So now and then we try to help out with steps one and three. As "mom's" reaction to this aid is a little hard to figure out, we've found it best to do our gardening while not being watched, and maintain plausible deniability. Still, the way she's constantly replanting our favorite specimens, she must want to encourage more outdoor participation.

Path to True Happiness

One of our favorite adventures is a car ride, and when there's lots of preparation like water bowls and maps, we can hardly contain our excitement. Yesterday we ended up at a quiet parking lot in the mountains, where we all got out for a hike. It was a well-maintained trail (other than a few side trails "Dad" stumbled into) so we were able to lead the way and keep an eye out for danger - not to mention natural curiosities. Weather was perfect: cool breezes and warm sun. About the time we were getting pretty pooped out, we'd found the way back to the car and settled in for a quiet ride home. A tired pooch is a happy pooch.

Seed Capital

We share our outdoor domain with many other creatures, some of the most amusing being the birds that hang out at "Mom's" feeders. But we have to wonder how many boxes of Milkbones she could buy with the money spent on those big sacks of seed. It's not like Lesser Goldfinches are going to provide the crack security detail that we offer - heck, sometimes they just fly into a window. We haven't walked into a door in a long time. [So walking into a screen door doesn't count then? -- "Dad"]

Another drip on the wall

Great Danes are near perfection in canine form - even the books describe our breed as "the Apollo of dogdom." [These two are more like "the Apollo 13 of dogdom." -- "Dad"] If really pressed, though, we'd have to admit that there's something a bit wonky with the lip design. No doubt it worked well for our ancestors, who needed a wide-open jaw for attacking bears. For civilized dogs like us... not so much. Effective drinking from a bowl is a particular challenge. Cosmo especially tends to leave almost as much goo in the bowl as he gets water down the throat. Fortunately our "parents" have learned to translate our look that clearly signals "I'm thirsty, but the water bowl is too gloppy" and proudly demonstrate this by refilling the bowl with fresh.

Still, there's the problem that not everything stays inside the mouth. So we've had to perfect the muzzle-drying technique of rapid oscillating rotations of the head. The best location for this activity would be in the hallway, where both walls are close by and blank-slate white. Cosmo's personal best mark reached 5 feet 4-1/2 inches above ground level. Perhaps one day this could be an Olympic exhibition sport.